Who’s a Partridge Anyway?
(originally ranted in 2001)

Do you know why parenting is so difficult? Because everyone acts like it isn't.

I know that for some people it's an easy task. Some people are kid people. They sing during diaper changes, rock crying babies endlessly, make every pee-wee softball game, cry when their child goes on sleepovers, and never begrudge their child's insistence on being a permanent attachment to their leg. But that's not most of us, is it? It's certainly not me.

But I AM a parent, and I'm trying to be the best Mom I can be. But it's so much harder than I ever imagined. Sometimes it's tedious. Other times it's boring. Then it's frustrating. Sometimes it's loving. Sometimes it's lonely. Other times, you just want to be alone. Sometimes it's enraging. Then it's a blessing. And that's all in the span of one half-hour.

We yell at our kids at home, then go to the grocery store and act like saints. We gently say, "Now, honey, please don't do that," as our toddler arm-swipes an entire row of batteries onto the floor. We play little word games with them at the mall, but can't talk to them while we're doing the dishes at home. We actually care more about what complete strangers think of our parenting ability than the very children we are supposed to be parenting.

And why? Because TV and Dr. Laura have painted this picture of motherhood that we can't seem to live up to- so we fake it. But let me dispel their ravings.

• You're not a bad person if you want a night by yourself once in a while.

• You're not a bad person if your child is in daycare because you can't make ends meet with out the job.

• You're not a bad person if you're a single parent. You screwed up. Now go make the best of what you've got.

• You're not a bad person if you sometimes want to punch your kids. You're a bad person if you actually do.

• You're not a bad person for wishing you never applied for the job. You're just a bad person if you quit.

• You're not a bad person because you're not as wonderful as your mother. Neither was she.

• You're not a bad person if you you're doing the best you can. You're a bad person if you're not.

This is the hardest job you'll ever have, the hours are grueling, and the pay sucks. But the benefits are immeasurable. And when your child has children, do them a favor and tell them that too.