I Don’t Want Him to Know
(originally ranted in 2002)

Why exactly does dating involve dishonesty and games? People date in order to find a person they're truly compatible with, but who even knows what is true and what isn't?

I went on a first date the other night. Normally, first dates are last dates, and even those first dates are few. I just don't date. But this guy- this guy was different. This is the One. He's the catch. And the woman who let him go was a damn fool.

I went straight from the date to talk to two friends. I gushed. Even in their misery, I beamed. I was deeply smitten.

And the games begin! I wanted t call and leave him a message on his voicemail saying what a great time I had. But no! I don't want him to know how much I like him!

He calls the next day and gets my voicemail. Great time. Do it again. Yes, yes. I wanted to call back,  but I didn't. I don't want him to know how much I like him!

It was late, I was love struck, so I decided to call. Too late to call at home, so I opted for yet another voicemail moment. Just thinking of him and thought he should know. Of course, that was Friday, so he won't know anything at all 'til Monday.

This morning, my friend who I spoke to after the date ran into my beloved at breakfast. They talked extensively, and she swears that he has an even bigger crush than I. How that is possible, I have no clue. And I wanted to call him, but I didn't. I don't want him to know how much I like him!

I called my Mom instead. What to do? Don't call. Let him be a man. I come on too strong. And I still want to call him, but I won't. I don't want him to know how much I like him!

According to my friend, he wants to call me too, but he hasn’t. He doesn't want me to know how much he likes me!

Of course, it was just one date. But I'd marry him now if he asked. It's a God thing, and we both know it. But we're playing it cool, even though neither one of us is. How stupid is that? Why do we do this? Why not start forever now?

The funniest thing? I won't post this to the site until much later. He might read it, and then he'd know how much I like him…